100 Movies of Summer 2013

Posted: June 5, 2013 in Movies

100 movies in 92 days, June 1 to August 31.  There’s very little on television worth watching.  What the hell else am I gonna do?  Go outside?  Talk to people?  I think not!

Actually, I plan on doing both of those things hopefully many times over the course of these three blisteringly hot Texas months which means I’ll have to double-up or triple-up on some days all the while working the 8-5 rent paying job.  To some my goal might sound rather easily attained.  Perhaps you get paid to watch movies.  Goody for you.  To some it might sound rather far-fetched.  Perhaps you haven’t seen 100 movies in your lifetime.  To you I say, go see more movies.  There’s no doubt a lot of good stuff you’ve missed.

I won’t take time here to  review every movie I see but I will drag out of mothballs an old favorite of mine…the 10-word summary.  Fair warning, the 10-word summary will probably quite often be spoilery! So, no complaining if you stumble across a crucial plot point on one of your, what I hope are, frequent visits.

I will try to update the list every week or so.  If I feel any movie is deserving of greater spotlight I will address it elsewhere in the blog along with other meandering thoughts I am sure.

Shall we begin?

  1. Chernobyl Diaries –  Thought was found footage.  That’s what I get for thinking.
  2. Haywire – I would totally let Carano kick my pale white ass.
  3. Safe –  Statham plays Statham…again.  But this time the movie’s good.
  4. Fear X –  Guy who directed Drive starring the perv from Big Lebowski.
  5. Fast & Furious 6 –  The Rock could save any franchise not named The Marine.
  6. John Dies at the End  –  Turns out John does not really die at the end.
  7. Crawl  –  Hot Australian waitress runs afoul of a creepy Croatian assassin.
  8. The Collector – Misunderstood gimp tries to make friends. Family is not receptive.
  9. The Collection – Rebuked by rude family, gimp goes on rampage.  Kills everyone.
  10. American Reunion – Actually liked this.  Trust me, I’m as surprised as anyone.
  11. Superman Returns – A love letter to Donner and Reeve. I dig it.
  12. Cherry Tree Lane –  It’s just like Straw Dogs.  Except it kind of sucks.
  13. Star Trek Into Darkness – Not as good as the first but still damn good.
  14. All-Star Superman – Great graphic novel, decent movie. I need another five words.
  15. Side Effects – Instead of medication take a deep breath.  No more killing!
  16. Man of Steel – If loving this is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
  17. Dredd – Can’t help but wonder why the Judge is always pissed.
  18. The Thing (2011) – Is it a remake or a prequel? Neither? Or both?
  19. Jack’s Back – Sleazy Spader strokes a cat and solves his twin’s murder.
  20. Real Steel – Wolverine teaches kid how to gamble and fight.  Yay Dad!
  21. Four Lions – I did not understand a single damn word anyone said.
  22. This Is The End – Hollywood types playing themselves go to hell.  Seems about right.
  23. In The Loop – This is a damn funny movie people.  I’m just saying.
  24. V/H/S/2 – Horror anthology, pretty decent. Safe Haven will blow your mind.
  25. Monsters University – By my reckoning?  It’s tons better than Monsters Inc.  Seriously.
  26. The Man with the Iron Fists – The RZA gets all kinds up Wu-Tang up in here.
  27. Pitch Perfect – It’s no Glee.  And can’t we all agree that’s good?
  28. A Cat in Paris – Loyal tomcat moonlights as a cat burglar’s assistant.  Ridiculously cute.
  29. World War Z – Wherever Pitt goes death follows.  Here’s a hint:  Avoid Brad.
  30. Ravenous – A bunch of soldiers get hungry and eat each other.
  31. The Call – I can’t even pretend that I liked anything about this.
  32. The Lost Boys – Goddamn it Corey Haim.  What the hell happened to you?!?
  33. Barbarella – Seriously.  Jane Fonda was just…wow…seriously…just…really WOW.
  34. The Fly – This might be Cronenberg’s best flick. That’s saying a lot.
  35. Undefeated – I’ve seen better football documentaries but this one’s pretty good.
  36. The Pact – Two sisters find out home is where the death is.
  37. White House Down – It’s the best Die Hard movie since Die Hard 2.
  38. Rocky IV – Over the top.  Ridiculous.  But I still kinda love it.
  39. Team America:  World Police – I really like it when the puppets do each other.
  40. Jaws – The very first and maybe still the best summer blockbuster.
  41. Captain America:  The First Avenger – Honestly, this might be my second favorite Marvel Universe movie.
  42. Man of Steel IMAX 3D – I’ve seen it twice.  Love it.  Wanna see it again.
  43. Independence Day – Look, I will watch absolutely anything that stars Jeff Goldblum.
  44. Ruby Sparks – Asshat writer’s imaginary girlfriend becomes real then fucks shit up.
  45. Safe Haven – Dear Hollywood:  Please keep making Nicholas Sparks movies.  Love, Hershal.
  46. Crawlspace – Rips off bunch of ideas from better science fiction movies.
  47. Mean Creek – Good story with good young actors.  Well worth your time.
  48. Hansel & Gretel:  Witch Hunters – Is it stupid?  Yes.  Is it also fun? Also yes.
  49. Lost in America – Not as funny as I had always heard.  Kinda disappointing.
  50. Godzilla (1954) – Nothing campy here.  Just old fashioned rubber suit monster mayhem,
  51. Pacific Rim – Awesome action, leaden acting, choppy story.  Still…lots of fun.
  52. Premium Rush – A seriously stupid movie that manages to still be fun.
  53. Snitch – I liked that part where Dwayne smiled like The Rock.
  54. Dragonslayer – That one lawyer from Ally McBeal kills a mean dragon.
  55. Happy People:  A Year in the Taiga – People who watch Herzog documentaries are the real happy people.
  56. The Truman Show – I want to kick Ed Harris square in the nuts.
  57. Hardware – Robots in post apocalyptic futures are almost always bad news.
  58. Dragon – History of Violence met Sherlock Holmes then had a kid.
  59. Alex Cross – I always thought Tyler Perry was a sassy old lady.
  60. The Fast & The Furious:  Tokyo Drift – Definitely not the best in the franchise but not bad.
  61. Norwegian Nina – A weird little import that will require a second viewing.
  62. Redemption – Statham plays it serious with moderate success.  Worth checking out.
  63. The Howling – This is seriously one of the best werewolf movies….EVAH!
  64. Magic Mike – Everyone I know said this was good.  They were right.
  65. The Conjuring – One of the scarier movies I’ve seen in quite sometime.
  66. The Impossible – Have to admit, got a little choked up watching this.
  67. Murder By Decree – Sherlock Holmes versus Jack the Ripper.  It’s pretty damn good.
  68. Sharknado – I was kind of hoping the sharks would kill everyone.
  69. GI Joe:  Retaliation – Everything that made the first fun? Thrown in the trash.
  70. Only God Forgives – A minimalist masterpiece.  Brilliantly executed and beautifully shot.  Well done!
  71. Killing Season – Guilty of neither sucking hard or being okay.  Just…there.
  72. Flawless –  Fun little caper flick with the always stellar Michael Caine.
  73. The Town That Dreaded Sundown – Out of place comedy mixed with creepy slasher mayhem.  Interesting.
  74. The Wolverine – Two thirds of a good movie.  Jackman owns the role.
  75. Wanderlust – Not Wain’s best but plenty of laugh out loud moments.
  76. The Skin I Live In – Wow.  What a weird movie.  There’s some intense stuff here.
  77. Hell Baby – Most important info about babies?  Never EVER have a baby!
  78. Man of the House – Tommy Lee Jones slums in lowbrow comedy with hot chicks.
  79. Manhunter – Pure 80’s greatness with the absolute best film Hannibal Lecter.
  80. The Host – Basically, this is Twilight except with aliens and even suckier.
  81. Ondine – This is Irish.  So lots of drinking and seal sex.
  82. Some Guy Who Kills People – Clever family drama with a side of serial killer mystery.
  83. Upstream Color – Great movie but I’m still not sure what I saw.
  84. Right At Your Door – Drags in the middle but has killer first/last acts.
  85. Rocky – It’s impossible to not love this goofy lunk from Philly.
  86. Teen Wolf – Michael J Fox becomes a different actor in wolf suit.
  87. Elysium – Heavy handed with the social commentary but fun to watch.
  88. To Live and Die in L.A. – Where the guy from C.S.I. gets shot in the face.
  89. Quicksilver – Dirty dancing with bikes. Bacon with a bad wig.  Stocks!
  90. It’s a Disaster – Yet another entry in the dirty bomb ensemble comedy genre.
  91. The Ruins – A very effective adaptation of a very creepy fun book.
  92. Europa Report – Smart science fiction flick.  Uses “found footage” to great effect.
  93. Appaloosa – A paint by numbers western.  Last 20 minutes are great.
  94. Noise – An Aussie murder mystery.  Well acted and well told.  Recommended.
  95. Oblivion – Second viewing doesn’t help this pretty looking Sci Fi retread.
  96. Step Up:  Revolution – So much dancing!  Your head will explode with awesome dancing!
  97. Pain & Gain – This movie surprised me.  The Rock is awesome in this.
  98. The Blind Side – Touching story that suffers from “white savior” syndrome.  Insultingly pandering.
  99. Clear History – Larry David’s not nearly as funny when not playing Larry David.
  100. Spiders – This is my 100th movie?  I am so damn lame.
  101. We’re The Millers – I laughed a lot.  So this comedy served its purpose.
  102. The Girl from the Naked Eye – Wannabe film noir fails on all levels.  So not good.
  103. American Mary – Low budget horror done right with a brilliant lead performance.
  104. You’re Next – Mean masked dudes kill lots of people.  Like they do.
  105. The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc Sec – Whew.  That’s a long movie title.  Seriously.  Look at it!
  106. The Last Boy Scout – Profane, sloppy buddy action flick hits all the right notes.
  107. Now You See Me – I like movies involving magic but this really kinda sucked.
  108. Legend – Tom Cruise and his magic tooth try to save unicorns.
  109. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – Not the best John Hughes film.  Just the most fun.
  110. The World’s End – Pegg, Frost and Wright need to make all the movies.
  111. Young Sherlock Holmes -It’s lacking in that whole “Holmes solves shit” I like.
  112. Undocumented – A documentary crew goes on the worst road trip EVAH.
  113. Down with Love – A clever send up of old Hollywood screwball romantic comedies.
  114. Aftershock – Earthquake hits Chile.  Stupid people die.  Eli Roth overacts.  END.
  115. Sahara– Definitely not Matt’s best work.  Completely forgettable if pleasantly diverting.
  116. Weird Science – Only thing I remembered was that Kelly LeBrock was hot.
  117. Cabin in the Woods – One of my favorite flicks of the last 10 years.
  118. A Night at the Roxbury – And it ends not with a bang but a whimper.

Updates

 7/13     I reached the halfway point of my stated goal of 100 movies in 92 days on July 11 leaving me 51 days to watch another 50 flicks.  I’ve added hyperlinks to other blog entries expounding further on some of the films I’ve watched over this time.

8/1      61 days in and I’ve watched 75 movies.  Unless something drastic happens, I’ll easily reach my goal.  If I had to guess, I might end up with 110 movies.

8/12     73 days, 90 movies.  10 to go with 20 days left.  I think I’m going to make it.

8/21     I crossed the finish line 2 days ago with one of the worst movies I had seen during this marathon of film only to stumble across something even worse two days later.  I remain undeterred though.  I’ve got a third of the month left and plenty more movies to see.

8/28     Well…I passed 110 as I predicted.  Looks like I might hit 120.  Or maybe I’ll just quit now.  I’m kinda sleepy.

9/1     And we’re done.  It started with a horror flick and ended with a terrible spin-off of a Saturday Night Live skit and there was a lot of great stuff in between.  I’m looking forward to a more laid back September before diving into my annual Horrorpalooza in October.  Thanks for checking in peeps!  It’s been fun.

 

Advertisements
Comments
  1. Sounds like a blast. I will have to join you for one of these.

  2. annefaith says:

    Did you see World War Z….just asking. Love Brad.

  3. annefaith says:

    The Lost Boys: We got rules around here=80’s vampires rocked!

    Jeff Goldblum is the epitome of casual freakdom=Awesome!

    Rocky IV: Replaced Keifer’s broken copy; second favorite after original!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s