Archive for August, 2013


The internet exploded on the evening of Thursday, August 22, 2013 with the official press release that Warner Bros had picked Academy Award-winning director/screenwriter/actor Ben Affleck to portray Bruce Wayne/Batman in the 2015 sequel to this year’s Man of Steel.  I was in a screening of the home invasion flick You’re Next (it’s really good, go see it) when the news broke but upon seeing mention of the casting on my Twitter feed I immediately started scrolling through my history to gauge the reaction of those I follow.  I’d love to say I was surprised by the unfettered negativity to which I was exposed but as this was the internet (let’s be honest about this) it seemed par for the course.

Speculation had run rampant as to who would portray the Dark Knight since Comic-Con in San Diego where Warner’s announced plans to introduce the Caped Crusader into the Superman universe in the follow-up to the worldwide smash.  I love Man of Steel and felt it was a great reintroduction to the character.  However, there was much fanboy outcry as to certain decisions the filmmakers made.  A sequel was certain but there was most likely some behind-the-scenes concern about the overall reaction to the film.  Execs were speculating prior to its release that it might end up being the biggest money-maker in the studio’s history surpassing even the huge performances of Christopher Nolan’s  Dark Knight films.  It failed to reach those lofty heights domestically, grossing just under $300 million dollars which combined with worldwide grosses made for a hefty total of $650 mill.  That’s a lot of skrilla but when compared to the $1 billion worldwide Marvel’s Iron Man 3 made earlier in the summer it was almost certainly disappointing.

Marvel, owned by Disney, has set up their own studio and made a series of interconnected movies starring characters that were probably unfamiliar to anyone who didn’t have at least a casual history of reading comics.  Beginning with the inspired casting of Robert Downey Jr as Iron Man and ending with the dream team-up of all their heroes in the fun (but overrated) Avengers, the first phase of their movie universe was an unqualified success.  Some of the flicks were better than others but overall it was a job very well done.  Marvel has begun the second phase of their film saga which will ultimately lead to a second Avengers film.  These films include the already released third Downey flick, sequels to Captain America & Thor flicks, and the untested Guardians of the Galaxy, a little known property of the Marvel Universe which is easy pickings for reinterpretation.  It’s the only crap shoot in the lot and the only one I’m looking forward to.  They are already planning a third phase of films rumored to feature a whole bunch of B-list characters.  The majority of the world’s population has never heard of Ant-Man, Doctor Strange and Black Panther.  I’ll be very curious to see the box office numbers on THOSE characters.


And that brings us back to Warner’s and the biggest problem facing a studio desperate to bite off some of that box office pie that’s being hogged by the house that Walt built.  Because let us never forget that studios are in the business of making money and making as much money as they can.   To compete with Marvel/Disney on this battlefield, DC/Warner’s needs to jump-start their universe filling it with the likes of a Flash, a Wonder Woman and (another?) Green Lantern.  But no one’s going to watch a Justice League movie for those characters alone.  You need a Superman and you most definitely need a Batman because THEY are the icons.  If you show their symbol to some kid in Baghdad, there’s  good chance that kid’s going to know what it means.  So, of course, there will be insane scrutiny where matters of casting these characters are concerned.

The studio went the Christopher Reeve route when casting the latest Kal-El by choosing a relative unknown to anyone who hadn’t seen Showtime’s The Tudors.  I felt Henry Cavill did a very good job (with some obvious room for improvement) and I look forward to his future work as the character.  If the film had done even better, they MIGHT have let him have another movie all to his own to further his story.  But that didn’t happen.  So how do you generate excitement for a sequel?  You give the fans what they want.  You give them something they’ve been promised for many, many years.  You give them Superman AND Batman.

Supposedly, Christian Bale was offered fat stacks of cash to once more reprise his role as the world’s angriest orphan.  He turned them down.  So what next?  Do you go for another unknown a la Supes?  Do you go old or young?  What the hell do you do?  Because, as has become all too apparent, whatever you do someone (most likely a lot of someones) is going to be pissed.  And why do we get pissed?  Why do we care so much?  Because, as I said earlier, they are ICONS.  We’ve all done our dream casting.  We all have our ideal.  Those who care have been casting this movie for decades.  Sure I would’ve loved to see Clint Eastwood portraying a grizzled Bruce Wayne once more donning the cowl to fight an insane Joker and a fascist Superman.  Twenty years ago.  Never happened.  Never will.  Time to move on.  And so the studio does some testing, has actors read, God knows what.  And they make a decision.  And the wailing and gnashing of teeth begins…with a fury.  Because, this is Batman and we all have our own Batman.  And, I guess for many of you, Affleck ain’t him.

And that’s okay.  You’re entitled to your opinion.  I bet you go see it though if for no other reason than to hate watch it and talk about it on whatever social media service is popular in 2 years. It’s what we do.  We’re geeks.

I’m old enough to remember the negative reaction to Michael Keaton’s casting in the titular Tim Burton film.  No one, it seemed, was thrilled at the notion.  The movie came out and, as it turns out, Keaton did a good job.  He might be my favorite modern Batman.  So, if Mr. Mom can do it why not Chris Knight (yes, that’s a Real Genius reference and I’m damn proud of it)?  How about that one guy who was in The Facts of LIfe?  Ooh, I know…let’s get that kid from Empire of the Sun!  You mean the one who grew up to be Patrick Bateman?  Yeah, that guy!

Seriously, take a look at these dweebs.  Do any of them scream Bruce Wayne?  Can you see any of them under the cowl?

You gave them a chance.  To the tune of $1,895,000,000. And some loose change.  So if you’re willing to support them, why not this guy?

Settle down Nerds and give O’Bannion a chance!


Olivia Wilde

Oh Olivia.  Where to begin?  I was but a young man of 35 when your exotic visage came to my attention during your first episode of the overrated Fox drama House M.D.  You alone were almost enough to keep me watching the show but like everyone else I eventually learned to hate it.  But I digress.  We’re not here to talk about that overheated Quincy ripoff.  We’re here to talk about you.

In the middle of your run on that disgrace to broadcast television, you appeared in Tron:  Legacy and in Cowboys and Aliens.  I rather enjoyed the former and the latter was passable.  You weren’t asked to do too much in either but I was still happy to see you.  I was however starting to notice that you were getting really skinny.  It’s not going to kill you to end a sandwich, you know?

At some point, Fox finally decided to put down that rotten show like a rabid dog with a bullet to the brain.  And you were free.  Praise Jeebus, you were free.  You set out to do fun roles like that of the twisted sister, Liza, who was 1/2 of the brother-sister duo (with Eric Bana) whose casino robbery getaway has gone awry in the Thanksgiving set Deadfall.  It was an edgy performance in a tight, little thriller that just might become a holiday tradition in my shockingly single household.

I’ll admit I skipped The Incredible Burt Wonderstone but I hope to catch it soon on DVD or On Demand.  That said I definitely plan on catching your next big flick, Drinking Buddies.  Directed by Joe Swanberg who famously and thankfully once kicked Devin Faraci’s ass, it’s an improvisational rom-com that I hope sets you up well for further great opportunities.

Now I know Olivia will never see this.  I have no illusions to the contrary.  But, dear readers, do me one small favor?

If you see this woman, tell her I love her.