Posts Tagged ‘wrestling champions’

With apologies to Franz Lizst and Ken Russell

I have a problem.

My life is controlled by lists.

My friends have noticed.  They encourage me to seek treatment.  They encourage me to be spontaneous.  Occasionally, I can do so.  But not often.  Rarely in fact.  OK.  Never.  Whatever.

I like lists.

With this new column, I will provide you, faithful readers, with handy lists to guide your life.

You’re welcome.

My Top Ten Favorite Lists

10.  Lists of Academy Award Winners

Every year around Oscar season, I’m all up in Wikipedia’s business perusing their voluminous catalog of past award winners and nominees.  It’s an invaluable resource.

 9.  The Post-It on My Door of Restaurants I Want to Eat At

Unless I remind myself to do otherwise, I’ll find myself eating every other meal at Whataburger.  And the other meals at Threadgill’s.  Not bad places but they get old after a while.  The weathered piece of yellow sticky paper keeps me honest and expanding my culinary experience.

 8.  NCAA Top 25 Football List

For 4 months every year, I anxiously await Sunday afternoons so that I might analyze the new college football rankings.  My reasons are two-fold.  I love to see my beloved Texas A&M Aggies creep up the boards only to inevitably fall right back down.  I also anxiously await to see my hated University of Texas Longhorns drop precipitously from their over-ranked preseason ranking.  I hate UT.  I hate cancer and fire and racists.  But I hate UT more.

7.  List of current and former NWA/WCW/WWF/WWE Wrestling Champions

I’m a bit of a closet wrestling fan.  Well, consider this my coming out party.  I’ve been watching on and off (more on than off) since 1988.  I can rattle off a list of former WCW World TV Champs like my life depended on it.  But every once in a while, I get a little brain fritz (I’m 40…deal) and when this does occur, I go right to Wikipedia which has a complete history of every wrestling championship ever.  I mean ever.  How else would I know that Gillberg beat Christian for the WWF World Light Heavyweight Championship, huh?  HUH?

6.  The x Best _______ Movies Lists

This one’s a perennial favorite.  Take a random number.  Now pick a genre of film.  BOOM.  You got a list of movies.  Let the debates begin as everyone hems and haws over the atrocious selection for number 1.  I love to see if other’s opinions match up with mine which is rare as my opinions are so often absolutely right while others’ are almost always wrong.

5.  My Netflix Instant Watch Queue

Hundreds of movies I wanna watch.  Dozens of movies I’ll never get around to watching.  Ten to twenty I probably will watch.  And one I was TOTALLY gonna watch tonight but it fell off the queue and became unavailable last night.  GODDAMMIT!

4.  (tie)  My Stuff To Watch & Stuff I’ve Watched Lists

I have a list of like 300 movies that have caught my eye that I want to watch.  Some of these films have been on the list for 5 or more years.  Some 2 days.  It’s a constantly evolving creature and it will never be completed because I will never have seen everything I want to.  That’s cool.  It’s the never-ending collection, a collection of experiences.  That said, when I do finally watch something that was on my radar, whether it made it to the To Watch list or not, it goes on the Stuff I’ve Watched List.  Date, Movie, Format.  No fuss.  No muss.  As of this writing, this year I have watched 64 films that made it to the watched list and probably a dozen or so more that didn’t.  I watch a lot of movies.

3.  My Movies App on my iPhone

This is a great app.  It was crucial in cataloging my movie collection.  The iPhone camera ‘scans’ the bar code, picks the movie out of the huge database and adds it to your collection.  If you were to show me a random movie, I’m 99% sure I could tell you whether I own it, owned it and sold it, or if it was borrowed by my asshole neighbor who took it with him on a trip out-of-town to show a friend and subsequently he left it with his friend who put it in his travel bag and took it to a foreign country from which he refused to mail it to my neighbor only to return to our country and still refuse to mail it because evidently the post office has stopped working in rain, sleet or in his case snow.  So, now I gotta buy High Tension again.  ANYWAY, I love this app.  It made a list of every movie I own so I didn’t have to.  Oh and for that 1% of the time I’m not sure, it keeps me from buying dupes.  Thank you Steve Jobs, you magnificent dead bastard.

2.  Year-End Best of Lists

There’s a reason a year-end best film list was my very first blog post.  I love this stuff because it allows for honest discussion about film and more often than not moral indignation at the ridiculous films included on some lists and the magnificent films left off.  I mean a couple of years ago some silly ginger said Scott Pilgrim v The World was the best film of the year.  This was AFTER he was quoted on national television ads touting True Grit as the best film.  Whatever. I was livid.  I mean the critic can change his mind I guess.  But c’mon, Scott Pilgrim sucked.  Hard.

1.  My Amazon Wish List

Even if I won the lottery and had all the disposable income in the world, I’d still have an Amazon wish list.  Presently though, my list contains everything I want, everything I need, and is in truth filled with stuff I certainly don’t need and in some cases probably don’t even want.  Regardless, it’s got a bunch of shit on it.  You should check it out and buy me stuff.  I’m not getting paid for this blog, after all.  I’m not hard to find.  There’s only 1 of me in the whole country.  Just type in my name and it’ll pull up my list. Sort by priority order, find the things rated the highest, put in cart, ship to my address as a gift and you’ve done your good deed for the day.

Now don’t you feel better?